Rules for women on how to get along with a man.

I only wrote 33 rules right now, I’ll add more to it later. Hopefully this guide will help women become more elegant and teach them how to get along with men.

Click on read more to read the rules.

1. Learn how to cook because no man likes a woman who cannot cook.

2. When cooking food, make sure everything is fresh and homemade, so nothing out of the box.

3. Spend at least 3-4 hours a day in the kitchen cooking, even if the food is done before that just hang around in the kitchen to pass some time.

4. Never talk to another man, that makes you into a harlot in front of the eyes of your man.

5. Never praise another man’s looks, habits or anything because that too makes you into a harlot.

6. Don’t try to fit in and like sports if you don’t, that just makes you fuck annoying when you try. Instead go watch an hour every day of your mans favorite sport so you’re programmed into liking and that way it’ll feel more natural.

7. Don’t watch Twilight or praise it, instead always talk shit about it. As much as you can, in fact latest research states that insulting the Twilight movie may stop your periods.

8. Your period is no one else’s problem other than yours. It’s like me making a big deal because my nose just started to bleed. No one cares about it, hell I don’t even know what the point of a period is or what it is other than the fact that you bleed.

9. Don’t even mention your period because some men have a weak stomach.

10. A man shouldn’t have to repeat himself.

11. Brazil is the best soccer team, and France are a bunch of cock craving cheaters.

12. Metal Gear Solid is the best video game series ever, and if your man sheds some manly tears from watching the ending of MGS3 or MGS4, the best thing to do is to either leave the room or do not enter the room for a while. After a while simply tell him that Big Boss and Solid Snake had to do it for us, they had to and will always be remembered.

13. Tupac Shakur is alive, don’t ever say he’s dead.

14. Jews and Israelites are shape shifting demons, don’t consider them as human beings.

15. Do not wear revealing clothes, as much as it looks hot no real man wants to have other men look at his woman like she’s a fried chicken.

16. Lipsticks are ugly.

17. Nail polish is ugly.

18. The color red on a woman is a huge turn off, and any guy liking his woman in the color red is actually a homosexual vampire.

19. Do not wear those fuck ugly stocking like pants that clings onto the body and since I’m not gay like any other straight man, I do not care what it’s called.

20. Do not wear those shoes that look like the shoes Jacky Chan used to wear in his older movies, those kung fu looking ones that are flat.

21. Wash your ass after taking a shit, wiping it does not make it clean under any circumstances.

22. Even if your self-esteem isn’t shit low, pretend it’s low in front of your man so he feels like the dominant one in the relationship.

23. Always be willing to have 999 kids, it just shows how much you love your man, don’t even dare thinking about condoms or abortion and or falcon punch.

24. Learn to play the piano, like seriously I’d like to listen to Immortal Technique’s song Point of No Return on the piano.

25. Don’t get fat or fuck skinny. If I want to make love to a fat person I might as well tie 25 pillows together and have fun with that. Or if I wanted to make love to a bag bones of I’d just rub myself on my chair.

26. Don’t talk about shit that only a castrated man may be interested in.

27. If you know your father is pussy whipped by your mother, then please do not fucking follow her footsteps and think you can make an alpha male into your bitch. As a matter of fact, try to have very little contact with your mother.

28. Do not be materialistic and money minded, if you are then bye bye because it comes cheaper to hire a whore whenever your sexually frustrated than to have a woman who is after money.

29. A diamond is a damn mineral, it’s nothing else. Shit if you want it so bad, go freeze up some mineral water and break it into pieces and stare at it until it melts.

30. Do not think you can boss around a man and have him buy you whatever you want. Lets be real here, if you’re a woman thinking you can get whatever you want to based on your looks, then guess what? Your looks will change a few years from now, and then your value is zero. While that man will probably make more money so his value is more. Keep that in mind and don’t ruin your chances of ever having a normal relationship.

31. Don’t cut your hair short, men don’t like butch dykes.

32. God didn’t make Adam to be like that vampire from Twilight, God made him into an alpha male. Don’t except men to act like castrated faggots.

33. Your vagina can only take a certain size of a penis. Having a larger penis in you is not going to make sex anymore pleasurable, in fact it just means you’re a whore who’s vagina has been stretched so much that a normal penis can’t satisfy and or you’re a masochist.